I shaved my head with the lovely assistance of Janet. I'm now completely bald for the most part.

I don't like change, and I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting to something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. Part of me is telling me that this is a good idea, but the other part of me is telling me I'm not strong enough to withstand the fallout. This matters a lot for some reason...But as Ennis Del mar told Jack Twist in the oh-so-fabulous movie, Brokeback mountain: "If you can't fix it, you've got to stand it."

I hope my parents approve...If they don't, it's another thing to add onto the already very long list of things they're not okay with.

Meanwhile... School! There are so many people again! Wow!

Guys. I need help. What kind of hat should I get?

Right now, I'm thinking military hats or a flat top hat, in black (for the winter) and tan (for the spring).

Here's a picture of a flat top:


They're not conspicuous and it goes with my attire. Don't mind the print.

Here's a picture of a military hat:





So?

EDIT:

omgoes!



<3 ! Would I actually wear it! Absolutely! Janet? Instead of making me a pair of glasses?

(SPOILERS...LOTS OF THEM) I finished the first book of "His Dark Materials" and let's just say I'm very confused about the role of Asriel and his lover, Mrs. Coulter. They're so deceptive. Also, what's going on with this Lyra girl? She seems to love the idea of power and controlling people, and she constantly finds herself in situations where she needs to stop herself from too deceptive. She reminds me of Gollum, but human and more suppressed. I'm not sure if her being so deceptive means anything yet, but I guess I'll find out soon. Also, what is dust? Right now, it appears to be the physical representation of sin. The magisterium, however, is ridiculously scared of it and have all of these plans to stop it from sticking onto humans, but are also opposed to Asriel, whose ultimate goal is to destroy dust itself (right?). WHAT? Confusion. I'm looking forward the finishing the second book.

Also how do I pronounce that letter that looks like an O with a line going through it. WTF, I thought I was reading an english book. I hate when books do this. They should just go make everything english. It's not that hard. Having letters this isn't impressive by any means. It's annoying.

Home is really boring. I don't really like to hang out with my friends. A lot of them like to stay home and watch television, which is cool, but everyday? No one likes to go into city and watch people sing, which is a really big disappointment because there are so many things going on in NYC. I'm really looking forward to Boston and Wesleyan.

Speaking of television. LOST! BATTLESTAR GALACTICA! All returning this month. Also, more hard classes next semester. This is not going to be a good spring.

I wonder if I'll ever find my nerdy, muscular boyfriend that loves to go clubbing and play the guitar and isn't too conceded and condescending.

China is a really, really scary place. It's using up so much energy, and everything is dying, including the humans. I wonder what the world is going to be like in twenty years. If the earth's is going to change at the rate it's currently going at, I'm not sure we're going to make it. Maybe Issac Newton was right- the world is going to end in 2060. But whatever. This is spring is going to be so warm and wonderful. Maybe if we planted more trees.

I'm so bad at blogging. Here are my last 11 weeks:

Let me start off by saying that vacation sucks. So. Much. AHHHHHH. I have sooooo many fake (facebook) crushes on so many people. Also, I think my friend is a closeted gay. I feel like I have a lot of closeted gay friends. But that might just be because I have lots of asian friends, and asians, as we all know, are all prissy.

"His Dark Materials", initial thoughts:

I recently purchased "His Dark Materials" by Phillip Pullman and from what I've read, the book is definitely a lot better than the movie. There's a lot more story than I originally thought, and the characters have a bit more emotion to them. I'm very excited to see what happens at the end of the first book, which is apparently surprising and devastating, according to Janet.

To be honest, however, I don't know if I'm going to enjoy this book especially with this whole anti-religion thing that has been woven into the plot (if this book has nothing to do with what I just said, just ignore everything that was said thus far). I usually despise books like this, mostly because it describes organized religion, especially Christianity, in a way that is offensive and often times incomplete. I have a feeling (and tell me if I'm wrong, just don't tell me what happens at the end of the book) that the book is basically going to say: "guys the magisterium and the clergy, and thus religion, is sucky because they're outdated and interested in controlling people and power". I definitely agree with that to some extent, but to present this idea without discussing what religion has to offer is really unfair. Of course I think organized religions and their practices are overbearing and outdated sometimes, especially as a gay man, but I think religion is meaningful and important, nonetheless. It has given me some sort of meaning to life, an ability to believe that I am significant. My religion offers me love from someone that could never falter, which, ironically, has gotten me though some really tough times like overcoming my own homophobia. To me, these kinds of books are basically encouraging children to reject religion from the start without really describing why religion is important. Of course, a book that could do both would probably be really confusing and disorganized, but these ideas are often hard to comprehend and we should be encouraging children to think really hard about these idea, and not encouraging them to passively reject or accept religion. I think books like this are potentially dangerous. I begins to makes people, like so students are Wes (I'm sorry if you feel like this is about you. If we've had a conversation about this topic, this doesn't refer to you) reject religion blindly and look down at religious folk without truly understanding what is is to be religious. Sorry about this sidetrack. I just get annoyed sometimes.

Fall semester '07:

I'm still waiting for my integrated chemistry grades. LAME. I didn't do particularly well in Biochemistry, but I'm pretty happy with my grades so far. I'm on my way to being a fabulous chemical manufacturer (I have a feeling that I'm just going to like mix things together in a giant pot and make vitamin c with my degrees from Wes. Do I smell a new leather briefcase/shoes from 5th ave/Newbury Street? Most definitely!).

The status of my head:
So I've decided just to shave it all off. Hopefully I'll get through this with some sort of self-esteem left intact. My biggest fear is that I'll eventually look like an overweight bald guy that could take and harm your children. Thanks gay stereotypes! I'm really scared about potentially cutting myself or getting razor burn and bumps before my big shadowing experience. I'm also really scared about the top of my head being uneven. I have no idea what's underneath the hair. Scary. I hate change. I hate the dixie chicks for reminding me that I get older and stuff. Lame. But I couldn't be fabulous without them. Nope. Next semester is going to be a very lonely semester. Please don't ditch me if I become ugly.

Family:
I came out to my sister! She was really cool about it. It happened on the train. It was awkward, especially for the people that were sitting next to us. But yay! They tried to talk to me about it once this break, and I left the table without letting them finish the sentence. They haven't mentioned it since then. My mom's coworker, also tried to get me to go out with her daughter. Awkward. I was not okay with this. She's like 16.

Europe:
It's totally going to happen! Lauren and I booked tickets today. I sense lots of beautifully tanned boys and girls and lots of alcohol and marijuana and maybe some anonymous sex at a hostel in the near future. Hot! I'm about to watch this movie named "Hostel" by Quentin Tarantino and apparently its about these boys that meets these really hot girls that live in this totally hip hostel and it's totally this awesome film about what happens to them. Maybe I'll get some tips on what to do/not to do! I'm excited. I'll keep you guys posted.

So I'm going to ride these next two weeks out and head up to Boston to visit Janet and possibly Mad! This is so very, very exciting. Apparently, they (or Janet) will shave my head and change the way I look. FOREVER. And tons of awesome partying and stufff!!!

Guys, thanks for making it this far. =) <3.

p.s
My realistic new year resolutions:
1) Get rock hard Abs for banging Chests before spring, but after eating more ice cream (what I am currently doing).
2) Don't party.
3) No more porn.
4) Be a vegetarian. Again. And not that sort-of-vegetarian bullshit. I hope the food with bon-appetit gets better.
5) Be more realistic.

The username describes it all. We go through all of college wanting a lot of things: love, peace , environmental awareness, boys, etc, etc. The only thing is that people never take our needs seriously. We never get we want and then we just complain. We're all essentially  just like sad, small, cats that are so cute you dunno what to do with 'em. ::lolz:: Exactly.


But since this is about me, I'm gonna to talk about what I want to has, what I has, and what I has'ed. It's gonna be great.

Anyways, I has:
- two exams and a paper due on friday.
- love for a boy
- urge for egg omlette.